...STOP PLAYIN WIT ME! STOP PLAYIN WIT ME BITCH! STOP PLAYIN WIT ME STOP PLAYIN WIT ME BITCH!

____________________________

okay so this kid just really made my day.
honest to god. it's now about an hour and half after what i wrote below this but i'm on twitter. because yeah it fascinates the fuck out of me. anyway, i'm following this kid. and he's like in case you didn't know i'm b.dot jay and his myspace.com/bdotjay.
this kid's are on some fly shit. for real.
____________________________
i lost my wallet, i'm super pissed, extra annoyed just ugh. why. my dad just sent me some money and i'd really like to blow it on my tattoo, but danielle continues to say it's not a great idea.
i still think i should go for it. either way at least the money hasn't been spent yet. i honestly haven't a clue where my wallet could be i've called the two places i've been. no good. and i've checked the car, across the street, and the house like 502490582452 times. no good. FML. not the ultimate but the biggest in a while.
i really wanted to get my hair done too though, i mean ultimately i think the tattoo will have to wait but still a girl can dream. speaking of dreams aka the story of my the life. the longshot. umm still jobless. still loveless. i'm just alot less than i was in all aspects of my life right now.
i feel so much like nothing some days it scares me, and i feel myself going down the hole into a depressive state. so i try to pull myself out each time just becoming that much more difficult. i don't know, but things are okay, i'm here still for a reason.

in recent celebrity news:
"megan fox is a butch bull dyke."
megan fox lost so much weight during a period of depression, her hair started to fall out. The star grew paranoid she was only successful as a result of her good looks, and deliberately piled on the pounds. But her weight dropped dramatically when she became obsessed with her image while shooting scenes for upcoming movie Jennifer's Body. Fox plays a high school cheerleader who turns into a man-eating killer when she is possessed by a demon in the film. And she tried to convince herself she was losing weight in an effort to prepare for the role - but secretly knew it was because she felt so low.
Fox tells Britain's GQ magazine, "Really my only job is to look attractive. I was so angry about that, that I went in the opposite direction. I turned into a really butch bull dyke for, like, six months... Then I went in the other direction. From being a giant motorcycle-riding lesbian, I turned into a zombie. I lost, like, 30 pounds." She adds, "I was like, 'I'm losing weight for the movie'. I was telling myself I was being method (method acting), which was so outrageous and ridiculous and not true. "But I ended up getting sick and my hair started falling out and I was like, 'Oh fuck. I can't do this'... You lose too much weight, you're not getting your vitamins, you get sick. I was really skinny. I was depressed."

the ten day forecast just in case you were wondering:

High /Low (°F)Precip. %

TonightJun 06

Mostly Clear

55°10 %

Sun Jun 07

Partly Cloudy

77°/58°10 %

Mon Jun 08

Partly Cloudy

74°/55°10 %

Tue Jun 09

Showers

60°/53°40 %

Wed Jun 10

Showers

68°/54°40 %

Thu Jun 11

Showers

68°/55°40 %

Fri Jun 12

Showers

68°/54°40 %

Sat Jun 13

Partly Cloudy

74°/56°20 %

Sun Jun 14

Showers

75°/59°60 %

Mon Jun 15

Partly Cloudy

75°/57°20 %

i got my.i got i got mah scarf around my neck.

fly shit. GET HIP kids.

i will come to you and tell you of your many charms

i've been thinking alot, alot about the book/script and how i'm gonna tell my story. it'll start with pieces of my last year at the mather, wow the mather seems like yesterday honestly i still remember so many kids from that school. there were definitely many characters there.  anyway, then of course leaving mather elementary school in dorchester, massachusetts to go to loker elementary school in wayland, massachusetts. first off where the fuck is wayland, massachusetts. my first wayland experience was going not to loker for the day but the other of 3 elementary schools in the town of wayland. happy hollow. there i met four girls who i will always remain friendly with because of our instant child girlie connection. i don't know. anyway so i don't end up going to happy hollow but to loker, the "lame" elementary school. claypit was where all the northies went because the town of wayland was also divided into two: north wayland, and south wayland. oh by the way i lived in mattapan, massachusetts my whole life in high school my friends called it murderpan. it's pretty dangerous there, but when i was 10 we moved to wellington hill street still in mattapan but it just seemed lie another world away from what people think mattapan is like. i knew all my neighbors, and it was pretty boring the houses on my street were pretty nice actually, including my own. my family kind of upgraded our lifestyle when we moved there. from renting that 2 family house on river street to owning our own house i mean looking back on it now i think it was an upgrade. 

sorry to interrupt myself. but i'd just like to say that itunes forced it .99 cents to 1.29 what the fuck is that about, YOUR MAKING BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, you should be giving us a fucking break. are you trying to encourage people to steal music. YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING UP. YOU GUYS FORCED IT.

i'm in wilkesbury, pa right now with danielle at her school, sitting here on the computer

about to smoke a blunt in bobby's honor. 

tomorrow we're gonna go to some hyphie club, so that should be good.

i have my fake id so we'll be good to go.

finally got someone to buy my guitar even though i really don't want to sell it i honestly, 

have no choice.

i almost talked to my dad today, he has danielle's number so hopefully he'll call back.

if not i'll call him again tomorrow. i miss him, alot. he's the only person i have.

listening to m83 right now, which is making me smile.

i've been thinking alot about how happy i've been since i've left my house.

and i knwo i'm happier because i'm free, even though practically the whole time i've been gone i've been pretty broke. but i'm not gonna let the fact that i'm broke depress me, my day it's not worth it.

it's not worth it to upset myself or anyone else with it, everything WILL workout. i just have to be a whole other level of strong at this point.

drake is gonna be in NY on the 17&18th i think, i know def. the 18th and i will def. be there to see him. 

IT HAS TO BE DONE.

this maserati song reminds me of friday night lights for some reason.

oooohhh and around 7 we're going to see adventureland so i'm pretty pumped for that.

things to do:

wait for callback.

email KSM staffing again.

wait for background check/CORI to go through.

tattoo.

figuring out school in the summer&september.

wait for dad to callback.

when i get back to boston things i must deal with:

gammy.

the family!

mail at 112.

school.school.school.

work.work.work.

oh & btw we found the apartment, it's a 2 bedroom condo across from carney hospital like,

two seconds away from ashmont. newly renovated, walk in closets. probably gonna be from 1100-1400/month.

i've been wishing&hoping for a love.

i just want that one boy.

as long as it's talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

so i have a job interview on friday.

i think i have two, i have to check my email.

just the beginning to my way up and out.

eFFiNxDoRk (5:13:32 PM): yeayeah

---

Auto Response from ohwadupimgaby (5:13:33 PM): i sent your man a message
i said ill see him when i can
he sent me one back
but i aint never read it
cuz dick is only dick
& i get it when i need it.



w/ camacho. 

thirty seconds before i read that message i was thinking of that song 

and my response to that line:

i sent you one back.

try an act like you don't need it.

cuz i ain't only pussy so when text you bettah read it.

lmao.

i wanna see movies of my dreams.

I wanna see it when you get stoned on a cloudy breezy desert afternoon
I wanna see it untame itself and break its owner.