Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts

Saturday, June 6

...STOP PLAYIN WIT ME! STOP PLAYIN WIT ME BITCH! STOP PLAYIN WIT ME STOP PLAYIN WIT ME BITCH!












































____________________________

okay so this kid just really made my day.
honest to god. it's now about an hour and half after what i wrote below this but i'm on twitter. because yeah it fascinates the fuck out of me. anyway, i'm following this kid. and he's like in case you didn't know i'm b.dot jay and his myspace.com/bdotjay.
this kid's are on some fly shit. for real.
____________________________
i lost my wallet, i'm super pissed, extra annoyed just ugh. why. my dad just sent me some money and i'd really like to blow it on my tattoo, but danielle continues to say it's not a great idea.
i still think i should go for it. either way at least the money hasn't been spent yet. i honestly haven't a clue where my wallet could be i've called the two places i've been. no good. and i've checked the car, across the street, and the house like 502490582452 times. no good. FML. not the ultimate but the biggest in a while.
i really wanted to get my hair done too though, i mean ultimately i think the tattoo will have to wait but still a girl can dream. speaking of dreams aka the story of my the life. the longshot. umm still jobless. still loveless. i'm just alot less than i was in all aspects of my life right now.
i feel so much like nothing some days it scares me, and i feel myself going down the hole into a depressive state. so i try to pull myself out each time just becoming that much more difficult. i don't know, but things are okay, i'm here still for a reason.

in recent celebrity news:
"megan fox is a butch bull dyke."
megan fox lost so much weight during a period of depression, her hair started to fall out. The star grew paranoid she was only successful as a result of her good looks, and deliberately piled on the pounds. But her weight dropped dramatically when she became obsessed with her image while shooting scenes for upcoming movie Jennifer's Body. Fox plays a high school cheerleader who turns into a man-eating killer when she is possessed by a demon in the film. And she tried to convince herself she was losing weight in an effort to prepare for the role - but secretly knew it was because she felt so low.
Fox tells Britain's GQ magazine, "Really my only job is to look attractive. I was so angry about that, that I went in the opposite direction. I turned into a really butch bull dyke for, like, six months... Then I went in the other direction. From being a giant motorcycle-riding lesbian, I turned into a zombie. I lost, like, 30 pounds." She adds, "I was like, 'I'm losing weight for the movie'. I was telling myself I was being method (method acting), which was so outrageous and ridiculous and not true. "But I ended up getting sick and my hair started falling out and I was like, 'Oh fuck. I can't do this'... You lose too much weight, you're not getting your vitamins, you get sick. I was really skinny. I was depressed."

the ten day forecast just in case you were wondering:




High /Low (°F)Precip. %




TonightJun 06




Mostly Clear




55°10 %




Sun Jun 07




Partly Cloudy




77°/58°10 %




Mon Jun 08




Partly Cloudy




74°/55°10 %




Tue Jun 09




Showers




60°/53°40 %




Wed Jun 10




Showers




68°/54°40 %




Thu Jun 11




Showers




68°/55°40 %




Fri Jun 12




Showers




68°/54°40 %




Sat Jun 13




Partly Cloudy




74°/56°20 %




Sun Jun 14




Showers




75°/59°60 %




Mon Jun 15




Partly Cloudy




75°/57°20 %
i got my.i got i got mah scarf around my neck.
fly shit. GET HIP kids.

Wednesday, March 25

you can help me figure out this time.





my mother is a fucking psychopath.
she just came busting in my room 
telling me i just had someone try to sell me booze
through my window.
i'm sitting here like editing this fucking blog clueless.
like what are you talking about?
how and why would i do that? 
she's like you've already made your connections.
i'm like really mom? are you serious?
eFFiNxDoRk (2:13:01 PM): someone apparently just came to my hoseu to try and sell me some water bottle of l through my window
eFFiNxDoRk (2:13:17 PM): my mom comes BUSTING in my fucking room being like this is what i'm tlaking about
eFFiNxDoRk (2:13:27 PM): I'M like WTF? is she talking about
eFFiNxDoRk (2:13:33 PM): like i had no clue i'm like mom
eFFiNxDoRk (2:13:37 PM): what are you talking about
eFFiNxDoRk (2:14:31 PM): and she's like i'm in the living roomwatching gthis all happen like someone walk in my driveway... i'ml iekWHOOO WHOOO WHOOO and shes like you already made your connections ... I'M LIKE huhh what connections i'm sitting in my room writing this fucking blog my nigga l
eFFiNxDoRk (2:14:37 PM): like SHESSSSSS A PSYCHOOO
ohwadupimgaby (2:14:59 PM): LMAO
eFFiNxDoRk (2:15:04 PM): for real
ohwadupimgaby (2:15:05 PM): i had a dream about her
yeah, instead of retyping.



she's just determined to fucking flip out at me for everything.
i need to get out of here.
still apartment and job hunting on craigslist.
i've gotten some responses back and two job interviews on friday.
i'm pretty excited.
i've been saving money, but i need a job.
still haven't heard from my dad.
pissed about that.
i really need some kind of support.
i get none from my mom, or brother, or my dad.
i need to study for this mwc midterm on friday.


still no phone.
no life.
blahhh.

Tuesday, March 24

as long as it's talking with you, talk of the weather will do.












so i have a job interview on friday.
i think i have two, i have to check my email.
just the beginning to my way up and out.


eFFiNxDoRk (5:13:32 PM): yeayeah

Auto Response from ohwadupimgaby (5:13:33 PM): i sent your man a message
i said ill see him when i can
he sent me one back
but i aint never read it
cuz dick is only dick
& i get it when i need it.



w/ camacho. 

thirty seconds before i read that message i was thinking of that song 
and my response to that line:

i sent you one back.
try an act like you don't need it.
cuz i ain't only pussy so when text you bettah read it.


lmao.

i wanna see movies of my dreams.
I wanna see it when you get stoned on a cloudy breezy desert afternoon
I wanna see it untame itself and break its owner
.